I don’t know about you (but i’m feeling 22. There I did it for you. I know you were thinking it.), but some days I feel like curling up in a ball, on my bed, with a blanket draped over myself. Other days I feel great about who I am and what I look like.
Too many of us let this and its number define who we are or how beautiful we may be.
Don’t get me wrong, I am guilty of this too. But along with this, the mirror is probably my biggest weakness.
Growing up, I had a very low self esteem. I was bullied about the way I looked when I was younger and some of those bullies included my own relatives. They would mainly criticize my weight. I am the tallest girl on both sides of my family and I am also the biggest one. Most of my female cousins did dance or other sports and they are super petite. Literally all of my female cousins could become models if they wanted to. Not only was I the biggest among my family, but I was also the biggest among my friends. I have friends that are really petite. I have always felt out of place and ashamed of my body.
Taking pictures was my worst enemy along with the mirror.
There would be days in middle school and high school where I would starve myself all day until dinnertime (and that’s only because my family and I all eat together).
It is still hard for me, to this day, to accept compliments from people. When I look in the mirror or try on clothes, I get so discouraged and wish that I was skinnier, or a bit taller, or toner. But at the end of the day, I am who I am.
My self-esteem has gotten better as I have grown older, but there are still days where I feel really, well, “blah”. I am starting to work out more for the benefit of getting myself into shape and becoming healthier and I have slowly accepted the fact that there is only 1 me in this entire world, and there is only 1 you. We are all created differently and perfectly in the eyes of God. It’s okay to love yourself, believe me. I know it may be hard, I know it is for me, but I am trying and you should too.
Don’t be afraid to stand out, don’t be ashamed if you are anything bigger than a size 2, but don’t be ashamed if you are anything smaller than a size 2. I know that self-esteem issues happen for those who we perceive as being skinny as well. Society has screwed up the true meaning of beauty to the MAX. Beauty isn’t about how expensive our clothes are or how much makeup we can cake onto our faces, or even our size. Beauty is WITHIN (corny I know, but it’s TRUE). Don’t let anyone define how beautiful you are. You can have a nice face, but an ugly personality…and guess what, the personality even makes your face ugly 🙂
A way that can help you develop better self-esteem or a better self- image is to stick post-it notes on your mirror that point out the things you love about yourself. You can put encouraging quotes or even pictures to help get you motivated and happy.
Before I end this post, I just wanted to say a quick “thank you” to those who have helped me and my self-image: Natalie, Misa, my twin, Paul, my mom (she is my rock), my sister, and especially Peter <3. You guys bring a smile to my face everyday! Thank you!
May God bless and watch over you always ❤
P.s. I do not own any of these pictures. All credit goes to Google images 🙂