Love Wins <3

IT FINALLY HAPPENED! I am so excited that we officially have equality when it comes to marriage.  I cannot express how happy my heart is to know that people can finally proclaim their love in an open way in ALL FIFTY states!

I have been a proud supporter of the LGBTQ community for a long time and I have personally dated a self-made man or a transman.  Love is love.

I am not going to lie, it is so hard seeing all the hate and politics that are being thrown around on this joyous day, but then again, seeing all the smiles and support that has been shown is just phenomenal.  I personally have relatives who are absolutely against anything dealing with gay marriage let alone anything dealing with the LGBTQ community.  I have had to put up with hearing and seeing so much hate from my own relatives that I have almost become detached from them.  I am pretty much the black sheep on that side of the family, but I DON’T CARE.  I know what I believe in and I will stand my ground and fight for those I support and love.

I have so many friends and people that I love who are a part of this community, and guess what….they are all HUMANS, just like you and me….Crazy right?!

Now I am going to go into a really serious discussion that is making me physically shake right now.

Growing up I knew I was a bit different from others.  When I was younger, there would be times where I wondered why two girls or two boys couldn’t be together.  I didn’t see why it seemed so wrong to other people.  I learned to suppress a lot of my feelings growing up.  There were times when I would think about the future, and in my spouses spot was one of my best friends, who was, in fact, a girl.  These thoughts wandered through my mind through elementary school and even middle school, but once I saw all the hate and condemnation from others, I knew that what I was thinking and feeling, had to be wrong.  Now, don’t get me wrong, I did have crushes on guys and liked guys, but at the same time, I also had crushes on some girls. I have discussed this a little with my mom, but I don’t even think she knows the extent of how I felt growing up.

Seeing all of my favorite YouTubers coming out and seeing friends of mine coming out, I always felt this battle going on between my head and my heart.  I would think to myself, “it’s natural to have girl crushes (admitting that a girl is pretty, etc.)” or “this is a phase”, but then I came to realize that I had found myself thinking about life with people who were the same sex as me.  I was embarrassed to have these thoughts and feelings and I guess I tried to suppress them even more.

My heart is racing right now because I know that friends and family will see this post….but I want to feel free like everyone else and I thought that this would be the perfect day.  I have come to terms that I am Bi and as I wrote that out and re-read it, I can feel tears well up.

I know that confessing this may change some people’s perspective of me, but this is me and has always been me.

Wow, I don’t know what else to say or what to expect from here on out, but I feel relieved and terrified all at the same time.

I guess all I can say is that I am the same person as I was yesterday and will be the same person tomorrow.  I have always had these feelings and thoughts, the only difference is that everyone else knows now and I don’t feel like I’m living a lie.

May God Bless and watch over YOU always

-Jen ❤

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I am a Phenomenal Woman (Spoken Word)

Loved this!

Empower Love

I am a Phenomenal Woman.

I STRIVE,

I THRIVE,

I STAND UP for myself.

I am a Phenomenal Woman.

For what I believe is RIGHT,

and For what I believe is WRONG.

I am a Phenomenal Woman.

I love every part of me,

Every FLAW,

Every IMPERFECTION,

Every SCAR.

I am perfect just the way I am,

And UNAPOLOGETIC about who I am,

Or who I want to be.

I am BEAUTIFUL,

I am PURE,

I am a Phenomenal Woman.

Empower Love,

SkyDreamer ❤

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Tears of Joy <3

Today I came home from volunteering at Jill’s House.  For those of you who do not know about Jill’s House, I will provide a link to their website right here: http://jillshouse.org/

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This weekend was my second time volunteering up at Thousand Pines (A Christian Camp) for Jill’s House.  We basically watch over children who have special needs from Friday to Sunday; which allows their parents to have a break for the weekend to either have date night or just be able to spend time with their other kids or do whatever they want.  The program is amazing and I love being with these kids.

I have learned to appreciate all that these parents go through and I commend them for their perseverance and strength to take care of these special angels.

Although there are some difficulties when handling these kids, their smiles and laughter make it all worth it.  I have been punched and hit before, but I find that my love for these individuals just continue to grow every time I get the pleasure to work with them.

These individuals are misunderstood by many and I am not going to lie, growing up, I was afraid of individuals who had special needs because I had a misconstrued perception of them, but once I was able to work with them, my whole world changed and I cannot love them more.

After this weekend, I am actually contemplating switching up my major in order to accommodate a spot in which I can continue to work with and help people with special needs.

Before I heard of Jill’s House my first year of college, I used to volunteer at a Special Needs Valentines Day Dance in high school and I absolutely loved it!  I have a special place in my heart for these amazing, beautiful, and unique individuals.  I believe that the whole world needs to change their perspective of them.  They are humans, just like YOU and ME.

 

I am blessed to have been able to obtain these opportunities to further educate myself about these incredible individuals.  No matter what their condition is, I have learned to look past it and love them for who they are.  They are some of the sweetest people I have ever met in this entire world and I wish I could give them more of my time.

If you happen to be a parent of a special needs child and you came across this post, I just want to take the time to say “Thank you”.  Thank you for never giving up, thank you for the long nights, thank you for the love that you give to your child/children, and thank you for everything you do behind the scenes that society never gets to see.  You are appreciated and I think you guys are superheros.

Give them a chance society!!!! Stop looking at them like they are inhuman! They deserve love just like anyone else.

I cannot express how Jill’s House impacted my life, I highly recommend taking the time to look into the organization and finding out ways to get involved and possibly spend a weekend with these phenomenal individuals.

My heart has been filled with joy each time I have volunteered.  Some special moments include seeing them succeed at climbing a rock-wall and zip-lining down, hearing them sing songs about Jesus, and just seeing them take in everything.  They enjoy even the littlest moments in life, because to them, everything matters and I believe that is how we should all look at life and its blessings, big or small.  I recall one moment with a child during chapel when he was asked, “Do you think Jesus loves us?” and his response made me and every volunteer tear up.  He said, “Of course Jesus loves us, we are his children and he has mercy upon us.”

These kids are smarter than you think and they are so precious….so….very….precious ❤

Thank you Jill’s House for opening up my eyes to a whole new world.

May God bless and watch over YOU always ❤

-Jen

My Haunting Vacation

Sorry I haven’t posted in a while! I just came back from a family vacation that was located at Mammoth Mountain.

Before we arrived at Mammoth, my family and relatives from my mom’s side of the family, decided to stop by a living ghost town by the name of Randsburg, and then stop by Manzanar.

The “living ghost town” has a population of 45 people.  The town looked something out of an old time movie.

Some of the adults had a few drinks at the local bar, while my cousins and I battled it out playing pool. I had a pretty fun time and it was a nice stop to be able to stretch out my legs.

After visiting Randsburg, we headed towards Manzanar.
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Manzanar was one of 10 relocation camps during World War II.  My grandparents were sent to Poston, which is located in Arizona, but my relatives had ancestors that were stationed here at Manzanar.

“Over 135 internees died at Manzanar during its operation as a relocation center. While many were sent to their hometowns for burial, some were buried in a small plot of land just outside the relocation center security fence. In 1943 the Manzanar internees decided to erect a monument to honor their dead.  The three characters on the front of the cemetery monument literally translate as “soul consoling tower”: (I REI TO). More liberal translations include “memorial to the dead,” “monument to console the souls of the dead,” and “this is the place of consolation for the spirit of all mankind.” (http://manzanarstore.com/cemetery.html).

This stop was the beginning to a very interesting trip.  I am very “sensitive” to paranormal activity.  Whether or not you believe in spirits, ghosts, demons, or angels, this is one account of my many experiences.

This camp is in the middle of nowhere and all of the original buildings are gone.  The only thing that remains is the museum, some buildings to demonstrate what the housing was like (replicas), and the monument.  As we were checking out some of the buildings, it got extremely windy.  All around me, I could hear voices from the past.  My heart sank with heaviness and I felt as if I was put in the middle of 100 conversations.  It was such a weird experience and it was amplified because I am empathic.  I have the ability to feel others’ emotions.  When we left Manzanar I started to feel a bit better, until we got to our condo.

Our condo was on the second floor and it was two-stories.  There were three bedrooms and a loft.  Right when I got inside, I went straight to one of the back rooms that consisted of two bunk beds.  I started to feel anxious and really drawn to the room.  One thing that stood out was a child’s book that rested upon a dresser.  I eventually left the room and explored the rest of the condo.  Not going to lie, the whole condo gave me the heebie jeebies.

Night 1: I was video chatting my boyfriend around 10:00 p.m. and my mom had just come in the room to get ready for bed when all of a sudden we hear a bunch of children laughing.  My boyfriend had thought that it was my family, but I just brushed it off.  During the night there were loud banging sounds and it felt like the place came alive.  The following morning, I found out that I wasn’t the only one experiencing things.  One of my cousins reported that her feet got touched and she thought it was her boyfriend, but he was in bed.  She said that she moved to the living room because she was frightened to be in her room, which consisted of the two bunk beds as mentioned earlier.  But that didn’t help her situation, because then she heard a male voice saying “Be quiet!”.  Quite freaky if you ask me!!!!!

Night 2: I did not experience too much other than some more loud banging sounds. The following morning, however, my Aunt said that she was taking a shower and all of a sudden it turned ice cold.  As she hurried to finish up, as she got out, the sink in her bathroom was on full blast.  No one turned it on and it was the hot water that was disturbed.

Night 3:  My whole family had just finished watching the show Ghost Adventures when my uncle brought up a conversation about a photo that was hanging in the bathroom near the room with the double bunkbeds.  It was a photo of an outhouse with a crescent moon on the door.  Not going to lie, the picture gave off a weird vibe and later we discovered a pair of eyes that were outlined by the trees in the photo.  The photo was named “three seater”.  I thought the title was odd, considering the fact that it was a photo of an outhouse.  By this point in the night, everyone is freaked out and wanting to go home.  In order to get our minds off of everything, we decided to play a board game.  While everyone was chattering about the rules to the game,  I heard loud footsteps going up the stairs….I turned to my cousin and our eyes locked.  I knew she heard it too, and so did her boyfriend.  Her boyfriend shh-ed everyone and the footsteps immediately stopped, but according to my dad, he had been hearing footsteps every night coming up the stairs.

When it was finally time to call it a night, my cousin asked for me to sleep in the room with the two bunkbeds with her, her boyfriend, and my other cousin.  I agreed to this request, until my hair got touched.  I went back up to the room I had been previously staying in and in the wee hours of the morning I hear my mom ask, “what is that noise??” but I just moaned in response because I was half asleep.  When I had finally awoken completely I asked my mom what she had asked me and if she found out what the noise had been, but she said that she never asked me anything because I was asleep…..Yeah, spooks.

Overall, I was happy to come home and it was a nice getaway.  Mammoth is absolutely gorgeous and I enjoyed fishing and spending time with my family 🙂


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May God bless and watch over YOU always ❤

-Jen

The Fosters

If you haven’t seen the ABC Family TV series, The Fosters, then you are missing out!

The show consists of an interracial lesbian couple raising a blended family of biological, adopted and foster children.  This show is inspiring and very addicting.  I fell in love with this show the day it came out.  It includes every aspect of the LGBTQ community as well as real life conflicts.  The Fosters definitely tugs on every heart string.  You get so attached to each of the characters, and for me, I feel every emotion that is being portrayed by these characters.

I really fell in love with this show because it wasn’t afraid to show the world the life that most people are afraid of.  It stirs up controversy due to its content and that is what I love most about it.

One of my favorite episodes included the introduction of a character named Cole.  Cole was a female to male transgender.  This was one of my favorite episodes because I actually have a friend who is transgender. In a way, I could understand the struggles of Cole and be able to connect it to my friend.  I believe The Fosters did an incredible job portraying the life of a FTM individual.

I portray myself as not having a religion, but a relationship with my God.  I support the LGBTQ community with all my heart and soul.  I have so many people in my life that are a part of this community and my heart breaks for them whenever I hear about their stories of trials and tribulations.  I have relatives that are very close minded about this topic and it tears me a part inside.  I actually dated my transgender friend and I had to keep that a secret from my relatives because I was honestly afraid of being disowned by them.  Now that I think of it, I am ashamed that I felt that way because I should have held that relationship up with pride.  All in all, to me, love is love, no matter what the circumstances are.

I am not afraid to stand out and speak up for this community because I hold this community really close to my heart.  If you or someone you know needs support or help, there are places of refuge that you can go to.  Here are a few that I know of in California:

http://www.lalgbtcenter.org/contact_us

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McDonald/Wright Building
1625 N. Schrader Boulevard
Los Angeles, CA  90028-6213
PH: 323-993-7400
Building Hours:
Mon – Fri: 9 a.m. – 9 p.m.
Sat: 9 a.m. – 1 p.m.
Sun: Closed

Note: Individual program hours vary

Facilities at the McDonald/Wright Building:

  • Jeffrey Goodman Special Care Clinic
  • Audre Lorde Lesbian Health Program
  • Pharmacy

Services and Departments:

  • Administration
  • Clinical Research
  • Development/Fundraising
  • Family Violence/STOP Domestic Violence
  • Health & Medical Services
  • Human Resources
  • Marketing and Communications
  • Mental Health/ Counseling
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The Village at Ed Gould Plaza
1125 N. McCadden Place
Los Angeles, CA  90038
Building Hours:
Mon – Fri: 6 p.m. – 10 p.m.
Sat: 9 a.m. – 5 p.m.
Sun: Closed to general public

Note: Individual program hours vary
Facilities at The Village:

  • Advocate & Gochis Galleries
  • Box Office
  • Davidson/Valentini Theatre
  • David Bohnett CyberCenter
  • Renberg Theatre

 Services and Departments:  

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Youth Center on Highland 
1220 N. Highland Ave.Los Angeles, CA 90038
PH: 323-860-2280
Building Hours:
Mon – Fri: 8:30 a.m.-5:30 p.m.
Sat & Sun: 8:30 a.m.-4 p.m.

Services:

  • Clothing
  • Counseling and Social Services
  • Computer Center
  • Emergency Overnight Beds
  • Employment Assistance
  • Food
  • GED Program
  • HIV and STD Testing
  • Showers
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The Spot
745 N. San Vicente Boulevard West Hollywood, CA 90069
Ph: 323-993-7440
Building Hours:
Monday – Friday*
11 a.m.-7 p.m.
STD Treatment available by appointment Monday – Thursday, 5:30 – 7:30 p.m

Services:

  • HIV & STD Testing
  • STD Treatment
highlandsouth.jpg Highland Annex
1220 N. Highland Avenue
Los Angeles, CA 90038
Building Hours: Vary by program

Services:

http://www.thecentersd.org/about/

http://www.sfcenter.org/

http://www.out.ucr.edu/#&slider1=1

http://www.lgbtrc.uci.edu/

If you need help, please don’t be afraid to ask! Just shoot me an e-mail if you have any questions or concerns or contact the Trevor Lifeline now at 866-488-7386. The Trevor Project consists of “trained counselors that are here to support you 24/7. If you are a young person in crisis, feeling suicidal, or in need of a safe and judgment-free place to talk call now.”

http://www.thetrevorproject.org/

PLEASE KNOW THAT YOU ARE LOVED AND THAT YOU ARE IMPORTANT ❤

May God bless and watch over YOU always!

-Jen