IT FINALLY HAPPENED! I am so excited that we officially have equality when it comes to marriage. I cannot express how happy my heart is to know that people can finally proclaim their love in an open way in ALL FIFTY states!
I have been a proud supporter of the LGBTQ community for a long time and I have personally dated a self-made man or a transman. Love is love.
I am not going to lie, it is so hard seeing all the hate and politics that are being thrown around on this joyous day, but then again, seeing all the smiles and support that has been shown is just phenomenal. I personally have relatives who are absolutely against anything dealing with gay marriage let alone anything dealing with the LGBTQ community. I have had to put up with hearing and seeing so much hate from my own relatives that I have almost become detached from them. I am pretty much the black sheep on that side of the family, but I DON’T CARE. I know what I believe in and I will stand my ground and fight for those I support and love.
I have so many friends and people that I love who are a part of this community, and guess what….they are all HUMANS, just like you and me….Crazy right?!
Now I am going to go into a really serious discussion that is making me physically shake right now.
Growing up I knew I was a bit different from others. When I was younger, there would be times where I wondered why two girls or two boys couldn’t be together. I didn’t see why it seemed so wrong to other people. I learned to suppress a lot of my feelings growing up. There were times when I would think about the future, and in my spouses spot was one of my best friends, who was, in fact, a girl. These thoughts wandered through my mind through elementary school and even middle school, but once I saw all the hate and condemnation from others, I knew that what I was thinking and feeling, had to be wrong. Now, don’t get me wrong, I did have crushes on guys and liked guys, but at the same time, I also had crushes on some girls. I have discussed this a little with my mom, but I don’t even think she knows the extent of how I felt growing up.
Seeing all of my favorite YouTubers coming out and seeing friends of mine coming out, I always felt this battle going on between my head and my heart. I would think to myself, “it’s natural to have girl crushes (admitting that a girl is pretty, etc.)” or “this is a phase”, but then I came to realize that I had found myself thinking about life with people who were the same sex as me. I was embarrassed to have these thoughts and feelings and I guess I tried to suppress them even more.
My heart is racing right now because I know that friends and family will see this post….but I want to feel free like everyone else and I thought that this would be the perfect day. I have come to terms that I am Bi and as I wrote that out and re-read it, I can feel tears well up.
I know that confessing this may change some people’s perspective of me, but this is me and has always been me.
Wow, I don’t know what else to say or what to expect from here on out, but I feel relieved and terrified all at the same time.
I guess all I can say is that I am the same person as I was yesterday and will be the same person tomorrow. I have always had these feelings and thoughts, the only difference is that everyone else knows now and I don’t feel like I’m living a lie.
May God Bless and watch over YOU always