He Held My Heart In His Hand

November 2015

There I was, sitting in my apartment clicking as fast as I could trying to secure myself to tickets to Justin Bieber’s Purpose World Tour.  This is it, I thought to myself. I was finally able to get in the queue after 5-10 minutes of clicking and refreshing to get tickets.  I ended up securing 1 floor seat to his concert in LA at the Staples Center…During this time, my mom was also trying to secure tickets just in case I was not able to.

I called my mom seconds later elated that I got a floor ticket and she was quiet on the other end. I remember her saying “Pooky….guess what?” in a very soft voice.

“What?” I responded.

“Guess who is meeting Justin Bieber March 29th in San Diego?” she says.

“NO WAY, WHAT?!?!?!? IS THIS A JOKE????”

“No baby, somehow I got put into a queue with this ticket and I went for it!”

I literally sat there in my apartment in shock….I couldn’t believe that after 8 years I was finally going to meet Justin Drew Bieber.

I have been a belieber since before he became famous and his songs and tweets have gotten me through some really tough situations in my life.

Fast forward 4 months later, just one week before the show, I read his Instagram post saying that he was going to be canceling the rest of his meet and greets.

Not going to lie, tears were definitely shed, but not for the reason most people would think.  I knew that he had been going through a lot the past year, year and a half.  I knew that his mental state must be seriously  suffering for him to cancel all the meet and greets.  I knew deep down that he would not just end everything if it wasn’t something serious.

Plus, I would rather lose the chance to meet him through a meet and greet than him losing his life.

I personally suffer from depression and know how much of an impact it can make on anyone’s life.  Somedays you don’t even feel like speaking to those you love nonetheless having to perform for thousands of people and meeting hundreds of fans face to face.

The day of the concert I found out that my seat was in the Pit section of the venue….I almost died. Justin was going to be INCHES away from me.

When the concert started, I was in complete awe of his performance.  I could see the lines of his palms, the beads of sweat coming down his face, and as weird as this sounds I could even see his little leg hairs.

It was so surreal….

During his song “Life is Worth Living”, Justin laid down on the edge of the stage. This was it, this was my chance to touch his hand.  Three or four girls were hanging onto his left hand and I reached as far as I could and I managed to hold onto his thumb.

When I was holding onto is thumb I began to softly stroke/rub it and he looked right at me when I had done it.

WE LOCKED EYES and we exchanged sincere looks to each other.

THEN HE GRABBED MY HAND.

I HELD HIS RIGHT HAND AND HAD IT ALL TO MYSELF.  I didn’t freak out, I didn’t scream, I just looked at him with admiration.

He gripped my hand and held onto me tightly and I did the same.  His grip wasn’t too hard or soft and his hand fit perfectly into mine.

Once he got up and continued to perform the rest of the song, I completely broke down.

I could feel that something wasn’t right with him and I noticed that during his performance, his eyes seemed empty.  He was just going through the motions, but when I locked eyes with him, I saw something more and I could feel it.

Although I wasn’t able to meet him and hug him, just holding his hand impacted me in such a powerful way and I am even more determined to meet him and hug him in the future.

He has been such a huge inspiration in my life and although to him I am just another crazed fan, I hope that one day I can express how much he really means to me.

jb life

My hand is seen on the left of the photos.  I was wearing the shiny silver charmed and purple stringing bracelet.  It is so hard for me to find a good quality video or picture of this moment.

If you ever come across this post Justin. I just want to say thank you. Thank you for always giving it your all and for never giving up. I will never leave you. I will ALWAYS be a belieber. You mean so much to me and I know that you are just a human like the rest of us, but you have impacted my life in a way very few have. May God Bless you ❤

 

May God bless and watch over YOU always ❤

-Jen

 

 

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