Believe Me, It Gets Better

To the little girl who was made fun of for wearing a pink puffy coat, who was called a chubby marshmallow and was taunted for the hair that grew on her arms; you are going to be okay.

To the young girl who witnessed her parents fighting and hearing her dad screech out of the drive way in anger, who watched and heard her dad yell and punch a priceless Thomas Kinkade; you may lock yourself in the bathroom and cry till tears become non-existent, but you are going to be okay.

To the preteen girl who was blamed by her father for the broken relationship her parents had, who was fat shamed by her cousins, who watched her mom fall a part from an unhappy marriage; you are going to be okay.

To the teenage girl who experienced what it is like to be ostracized from her friend group and those who were supposed to be her “best friends”, who was fat shamed by her father, who started to starve herself in order to become someone loved by everyone, who experienced a broken and unhealthy relationship, who dealt with endless racist jokes against her once proud nationality; you are going to be okay.

To the young blossoming woman who experienced absolute hell her first year of college, who came out as Bi and was once again ostracized but by her own relatives, who lost her first girlfriend out of the blue, who continues to live under the hurtful words from those whose blood flows the same, who lost her best friend of 6 years for unknown reason, who now lives with a grandmother decaying from dementia, who sees the hurt and brokenness of her mother due to the cruel words from the grandmother, who created small wounds to endlessly pick at and become so raw in order to match the hurt she felt inside, who contemplated suicide in the midst of her first year of college; you are going to be okay.

To me…Jennifer Okada (and those who can relate)… life can be cruel and people can be so ugly on the inside, but it can also bestow beautiful moments and friendships that will last a life time. It’s not going to be easy, but you have it so much better than other individuals. You are blessed with a mother and sister who care deeply for you and have friends that accept you for all that you are.  You are on a path to teach precious special needs children. You are going to be that friend you wished you had in high school. You are going to make a difference. You are beautiful. You are the daughter of a Heavenly and loving Father. You have the strength to speak your mind and fight for what is right. You are the black sheep that will no longer be ostracized. You are beautifully broken and patched together. You made it 21 years. You are going to be okay,

Because believe me, it gets better.

May God bless and watch over YOU always ❤



Bye Bye Bumble

Dating apps… Relationships…Single Life…

For those of you who don’t know, Bumble is a dating app. It is very similar to Tinder, but Bumble allows girls to make the “first move”. Guys cannot send messages or pics without the girl messaging first.

I’m going to be real with you all, I have tried other dating apps such as Badoo, Tinder (for less than a day), and Christian Mingle (hehehe jk), but….

TODAY, I decided that I am done with dating apps.  :O

I realized that I used dating apps to prove to myself that guys would find me “attractive” or “pretty”. I used these apps for validation. I put my self worth into complete strangers (some of which were complete dicks).  I put my self worth into men who wanted a one night stand. I put my self worth into boys who didn’t even know who they were yet.

I’m not going to lie, I have met a couple of gems that I still talk to this day.  I have made a couple of neat friends, but I decided that apps aren’t for me when it comes to finding a true and honest relationship.  I totally understand that some people find “true love” through these apps and I give them credit and congratulate those people!

If dating apps work for you, then by all means continue to use them. This is just my opinion.

Words….you never really understand how worthless words are compared to actions until you have been given the grand speech guys think  you want to hear.  Due to my up bringing, I am an individual who does not believe in sex before marriage…with that being said, when most guys find that out, they try and say the dearest and most poetic things to me in order to try and get a “simple” date with them because they find me “different” and “refreshing”.  Thankfully I have been smart enough to drag things out and find out their true colors before a first meeting.

Fun fact: I have only met 1 person in person from these dating apps

I have decided that this year is going to be a year of ME.  I am going to focus on MYSELF and truly find what it means to be happy by MYSELF.

Do I have moments of panic when I think about how old I am in relation to others who are getting married and starting a family? Yes, yes I do. But I need to remind myself that I am not those people and my life story is going to be different than theirs.  I need to remind myself to trust in this God that I have been learning about since before I can remember.

I got this…and if you happen to be in the same boat as me, YOU got this too.  We can go along this journey together ❤

Remember that each one of you are loved and cared for.

SUPER FUN FACT: As I was in the middle of writing this, one of the guys I have been talking to everyday that I met through Bumble just texted me saying, “bye”. That was it. Just “bye”. Literally my life right now.  All I can do is laugh because in all honesty he was too much of a child for me.

May God bless and watch over YOU always ❤