It Hurts To Breathe

As soon as those bombs, that you call words dropped, my heart dropped to.

Every breath felt like I was dying,

I’d rather be asleep than awake to face the ache in my chest.

I feel lost.

I feel agony.

I thought that I was okay and deep down I know I will be, but every minute without you seems like an eternity in hell.

I understand your situation and how you feel, but I don’t understand the promises that you made to me or the ones you made me make to you.

I’d rather feel nothing than feel everything.

It hurts to breathe.

I lost the other half of me. The half that taught me how to love again. The half that consoled me and was there for me 24/7. The half that I thought I’d never lose. The half that made me love life a little bit more again.

I was the love of your life…and you were mine.

But I get it. I understand. I’m just hurt and trying my hardest to let this all mend.

Was I a fool to fall in love? To create these fantasies in my head that now haunt me in my sleep?

Despite the answer….I know that I’d rather sleep than be awake. My dreams that haunt me are better than reality because in those dreams, it doesn’t hurt to breathe.

 

-Jen

 

 

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